reflections

coming to toronto has made me realize a couple of things that weren’t apparent to me when i was back home.

i realized that i have forgotten how to make friends and how to be a friend ever since i got so engrossed with going back to school. my classmates are younger, our backgrounds were significantly different (they went to JC and i went to poly) and i chose to just do my own things and focus on studies than to develop friendships. there were a few godsent people who i could talk to beyond the first couple of introductory lines, although i don’t think we will ever get to the extent of being best of friends. moreover, i had been struggling the last 2 years to catch up with my education as a mature student and believe me, it wasn’t easy to juggle, but God always came through for me each semester.

i had also reduced my circle of friends significantly after i got into a relationship with Ju and we chose to spend the weekends with family, at church and just simply chilling out with each other. not that it’s a bad thing, but i think as we get older, our priorities change. and as your relationship with someone grows, your priorities as a couple change and mould towards a compromise to each other’s. it’s not that we do not want to hang out with friends constantly, but somehow it was never our style to hang out with our groups of friends that we knew before each other and the friends which we used to hang out also started to change their priorities as they got older, got married or got busy.

our closeness as a couple made it a lot more difficult for the both of us to part when i had to leave for toronto. all of Ju’s and my weekends revolved around each other. what else do we do if we didn’t have each other? although i went out a few times for the last few weekends i was here to explore the city with my new friends, my heart and mind was back home with him. most people would call this ‘over-reliance’ on each other and i do not deny that we are indeed reliant on one another; but then again, what meaning is there in a relationship where two people don’t need each other?

i think the main thing for me now is to keep our relationship in constant prayer and let God guide me on how to strike a balance in my relationship with Ju while i’m here and he’s there for the next couple of months and for me to forge new friendships, even though i’m only here for 4 months. the people i have met and continued to meet every now and then has been awesome so far, and i think i should make an effort to meet more of them. they have been nothing but friendly and kind and the locals here have been mostly welcoming and warm, which is a stark difference from those at home. surprisingly, i have not met a singaporean here in a city that’s totally multicultural with everyone from all over the world, but it’s all good to get away from those at home for awhile.

Advertisement